How can you mend a broken heart, how can you unsee what you have just witnessed?...
The news from around the world is united in telling the devastation of the Super Typhoon Yolanda (International name: Haiyan). It repeatedly showed the faces of despair. The unimaginable damage left on its wake.
I was there. I felt it. I still feel it. This is my Philippines. These are my countrymen. Isang bansa, isang diwa. The faces are technically me in the saddest, most desperate form.
Richard and I were in Cebu the day Super Typhoon Yolanda decided to go island hopping. We heeded the warning of staying indoors or if in coastal towns, to evacuate.
We were on the 15th floor of Waterfront Hotel. Though one of the biggest and has 5 star amenities, Rich and I still tried our best to be ready just in case. We packed our things in our luggage and tucked them safely in closets. We had food and water to last us 72 hours. We had our torch and iPhone radio. We waited helplessly watching the wind and rain slowly come. It came ever so slowly.
We already saw the influx of people in the lobby. Some to take shelter, some to check-in from seaside cottages catering foreign tourists. Most to just sit in the inviting lounge and wait 'til the storm passes.
The quiet hotel we frequent on off-peak season suddenly became overcrowded. The restaurant queue for dinner and breakfast was so long.
Up in our room we felt relatively safe but watching the news made me feel more and more anxious.
Earth's Worst Typhoon. Never before felt Typhoon in the whole world is Coming to the Philippines. 3x the intensity of Hurricane Katrina!
How can I not hide under the doona and pray? Rich was tracking it in his computer. I continued to be nervous.
That day Yolanda lashed her fury, our hotel window rattled like cardboard. Then I heard the stormy wind at its fiercest. The rain was fighting with the wind so much that you can see it dance. And hail, oh hail was visible - falling down like white pebbles and roughly disappearing into rain. Another time, another life, this could have been beautiful. ️
While most of the city lost power and water, the supply in the Hotel continued. We did have interruptions but only for little moments. Our TV lost connections. Rich was able to tweak the back and produced an analog setting that was mainly for audio. The reception was horrible but we can hear the goings on.
From 3:30 am to 5:00 pm of Friday November 8, 2013 - the rain and the wind did not stop. The howling got even more loud we even heard explosions nearby. Though I did not see much flying debris, I know that on the other side of the hotel a few must have witnessed it.
The rain poured steadily not hard but the wind was like jet planes hovering above you. The sky was dark. It was very gloomy. I felt an eerie feeling. One of these beautiful islands must have taken the brunt. I prayed for comfort for those who are scared and helpless.
I know what it's like. I am from Surigao City. My family have experienced a lot of typhoons in our lifetime. I can't say we are "used" to it. We just learned to live with it. Every year we are bound to face one or two. When I was in high school we had a Super Typhoon Nitang. My parents kept all of us in our ground floor back toilet. It was made of brick, it was tiled, it was safer than anywhere in our 3 story house.
All my father's law books got wet, our roof rolled like an accordion and most of our windows shattered. The whole house was in disarray. But we were safe in that toilet.
For over 3 months we did not have electricity. We shrugged it off as minor inconvenience. But we were just blessed that there was no Storm Surge. We live just a kilometre from the water.
We gained even more closer relationship as a family then. We had candle-lit dinners and still eat for hours on end. Although this time we only had lugaw and more lugaw with black beans & fried dried fish. Sometimes Udon with canned sardines. It was great. ️
No one blamed God. Or I guess maybe one, former First Lady Madame Imelda Romualdez Marcos who came with all her glory (jewels, shoes & all) - one quick look at the devastated Surigao City, she said: "This is God's curse."
I do not know who her God is. I was there, I was a victim and I know my God did not curse my city, my family, my friends.
That was in 1984.
This time another Super Typhoon.
As I write my first hand experience of this recent typhoon, I thought of doing it in a different light. Not that I can sugar coat it in any way but to find something other than despair and frustration into this. It will be hard, maybe impossible. We have heard and seen grief and devastation beyond compare. But I will try.
As the news showed us flattened homes and buildings, we see faces that breaks our heart apart, then we hear guttural wails of anguish only sourced when a loved one is taken away. One cannot help but feel their pain.
But somehow, not one. Not a single person in the thousands who were displaced, blamed God.
Days after the typhoon, a mayor from another place where there was NO destruction - came to survey the damage. Later on he remarked that maybe God was somewhere else when this happened. God must have forgotten. He shed a tear.
In another part of the news a young mother said: "I saw my husband float away, I saw the clothes my young son was wearing. I know they're gone." No blaming God. Just pure heartbreak.
A popular actress posted in her Instagram a prayer by a leading Priest. It was in 4 forms. I read the 4th then the 3rd then 2nd - in that order since that was how it was posted. At first I find the prayer sincere, worth sharing with others. Then I read the very first part. It started at telling God: "How could you? Enough already. " I was surprised and felt really, really sad. Coming from his pedestal where he is warm and dry - this priest must have thought he had the right to speak on the victims' behalf. But please, we have no right to question God, much less blame Him. Most especially if you profess to be His servant.
Still, those in ground zero did not say anything against their God. They have every right to voice their angst out loud. They just had a super earthquake weeks ago! Honestly, if I see or hear them do so - I'd be more than sympathetic. If I were in their shoes, I'd go insane.
But most Filipinos are faithful.
Filipinos show great faith in the Almighty in many forms of religious beliefs. Filipinos are pious. Very strong in their conviction that through all this:
"Somehow, my Faith will see me through."
The day of the storm was the day we were to fly back to Australia. Our flights were cancelled and we were rebooked. We had 2 more days in Cebu. We decided to go around the city. The city damage was minimal. Badly affected were those in the northern coastal part. When we had lunch in a Mall I asked the workers if their families were safe. They all said Yes because they evacuated. Some workers though, were worried about their relatives in Leyte but they just said : "Ampo lang jud ta Ma'am". Such faith in being heard and answered.
Later on that day we learned that Tacloban, Leyte was the worst hit. It is not far, about 40 minutes plane ride. About 95 Miles from where we were. They were hit so bad, there was no standing building left when Yolanda finished her visit. The death toll continues. Prayers of the faithful poured in.
Faith and Prayers.
To some it might not be enough
but for pious Filipinos,
we draw our strength in faithful prayers:
That the relief goods will be delivered to all.
That the politicians will soften their hearts and not deny the help needed.
That those who are mourning will be comforted.
That those who have strength will donate time and effort.
That one day as always - we will get up again.
Maybe with a broken smile,
hunched shoulders from all the burden
- but strong spirit just the same.
Yes, we are pious. Yes, we are resilient. Yes, we need each other.
Yes, we are Filipinos.
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