Simply Amazing, Just the way you are

I like to think that I am healthy. I psyche myself into thinking that I am. These last couple of months has been endless visits to doctors, pathologists, radiologist, naturopaths etc etc. I am still half way my list though because I need to go to a dietician, physiotherapist and personal trainer. While I'm at it,  I decided to add acupuncturist as well. And what the heck, throw in a Feng Sui expert too.

My name is Aileen and I am not an alcoholic. I live a fairly normal life focused on my faith, my family, my food, my friends, now fitness (or lack of it) - maybe in that order :-)  I was born in the Philippines to a lawyer father Bob and an educator mother Irene. Both had passion on those F's listed. My birth was over 40 years ago. I don't know how much over exactly,  I stopped counting after I reached the four-o. But I can honestly say with all the aches and pains I am pretty much up to date with my life. I do not look horribly older than my age but I do not look any younger either. I guess I am just okay. I am happily okay. I guess

When I married Rich 11 years ago I was 3 sizes smaller than what I am now. When I lamented the fact to Marika, my mother-in-law's bff she answered me in her rich Magyar accent: "Zoo not worry mah dahling, moo fo Wetchad to Lurve". I do not know if she meant wretched but that is how she spoke to me. :-)

Any how - More for Richard to love indeed! Well, I am not really worried of how I look. It has always been the least of my concern. I am just a bit worried of my genes and how I am predisposed to be on the sickly side. Hahay buhay parang life.

The avatar I have here is supposedly me in Sydney Opera House. We have holiday coming up in a few months over there. It will be right smack winter, so boots will be great. I only like to wear black. So this one is me in a smaller size with boots on. Hurray, now I can visualize my goal to make it more realistic. Now if only I have a real desire to hit the gym.

I read somewhere that a goal is a dream with an expiry date. Okay, okay, okay,  my expiry date will be after Easter because the long break is over and I can walk off the easter eggs I scoffed. I am good though, I only ate one. One tiny easter egg but I did eat lotsa other things. Uh-oh.

 

Okay, I will walk tomorrow to the shops. But hey I do that anyways. Well, I will walk faster. Powerwalk with a band firmly plastered on my knee. Good, that thought seem to envigorate me to walk tomorrow.

My father was a fitness buff. He jogs EVERY morning the whole time I know him. The whole city knows his strict regimen of exercising every crack of dawn in the grandstand. He tried to make us do it, but though he can be very strict in so many ways, up til now I wondered how we got away with not going. He was a softy, that side of him was only privy to those he cared for. He was a gentle giant. He can growl like one but in all of the over 43 years he was married to Mama, he never ever hit her. He was an inch shy of 6 feet while Mama was an inch over 5 feet. They were lovebirds. The total opposite. Many times I wonder why I got most of Mama's health gene when I could have just gotten Papa's with his healthy lifestyle. But that is not the way it should be. Papa, a non-smoker, non-drinker, fitness buff,  athlete trainer lived up to young age of 66. Mama who has never exercised in her life, ate anything that she fancied, outlived Papa by 4 years. They are together now with Mano Longkoy, probably still dancing the slow dance they always do in our sala.

 

As I am writing this I can almost hear Papa say: "Neng, paghinay hinay imo lawas. Pagbantay kay nidako na raba sab kaw." He was always looking after our health. He was always worried of Mama who had a stroke in her 40's. We always think of Papa as the invincible, our real Superman. That was why all our prayers were directed for Mama who was always frail. Papa was always worried of Mano Longkoy as well. He was his firstborn, his pride and joy. But life was not kind to him. This world was never meant for one as beautiful as our Mano Longkoy. When Papa left, Mama followed, then both took Mano Longkoy. They know that no one can look after him as best as they could.

 

I hope that I will have the desire to really look into my life and my health. Health is not just strong flesh and bones but also peaceful mind. I can look after myself physically but I need more help with maintaining a peaceful mind. I get sad easily. I wallow in self-pity at times. I am prone to the blues. I have managed though to easily shake them as they come. That is when Richard comes. He is my everything. I also take comfort in the counsel by an apostle of the Lord. "In the Fridays of your life when it is very hard, know that Sunday will come." My Sunday will come, it always does. My prayers have been answered in so many ways before. It will be answered again. My weak bones will be stronger, my aching flesh will  heal. My peace of mind will come. Then one day Rich will have less of me to love, because I have succesfully set aside the excess baggage.

I will be better. I will be.

:o)

"And on that cheek, and o'er that brow / So soft, so calm, yet eloquent / The smiles that win, the tints that glow / But tell of days in goodness spent"

—  Lord Byron, from "She Walks in Beauty"