There's a verse in our Modern Day Scripture that I really know off by heart.
"I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up."
D&C 84:88
I have loved this scripture as a missionary in the Philippines-Cebu Mission 22 years ago. After all this time, like all favourite verses - I still rely on its promise.
I quote it in times of distress to calm my heart. I know that even when it is directed to those in the Lord's service, it was not just for the missionaries. I know that my Savior is right next to me especially at times when my burdens are heavy.
These last couple of years has been hard for my family. We have been visited by death 3 times within 4 years. We have had so much health issues that sometimes I wonder if there is a catch. Or a prize, who endures better. All this time, we look up with heavy heart and plead with the Lord. We never waver. We always feel the comfort and aid of heaven.
If you do not know us well, you'd think we are all okay. We look like we are breezing through it well.
We were brought up in a loving home full of laughters and we want to keep that way. We still laugh out loud. We make use of social media to exchange news, good or bad and we have become closer even with thousand of miles separating us siblings. We are doing it well together. We are each other's strength.
No matter how many times you experience hardships, you will never get used to it. There will still be pain and anxiety. Even when we try to appear strong with our battle scars, we still crumble. Sometimes deep down on our own, sometimes with someone to bear us up.
Problems come and go. That's the sure cycle of life. Sometimes problems stay. I have also learned that no matter how much you pray or be faithful to the commandments, no one is immune to hardships. But I also know, that we are not alone. Heavenly Father loves us. He is there to bear us up. He is there to help us lighten our burdens. Following the commandments might not make us problem-proof, but it will enlighten our minds and hearts on how to cope.
I am not very good with relaying comforting words to those who are suffering. Even though I know how it feels, I tend to just keep quiet and listen. I wait until I am asked. I like to give space to people instead of barging in with my aid.
But I am good in knocking at the doors of heaven on your behalf. Even if you do not ask me. I will pray for you. Prayer is my proven shield.
A forth night ago, a favourite little boy in my Ward had a tumour removed from his brain. He just turned 2. I wept and prayed for him and his family. I tried my best to be strong when I face the family especially the parents. I know how hard it is to see a little one go through this. I want to make them feel a bit better, but I also do not know how to properly do it. I am clumsy, I cry hysterically and I try to avoid situations where I have to be strong for others because most of the times I am not.
But having said that, I am a reliable friend. When I chose you to be my friend, I chose to be there for you in good times and bad.
When our beloved father passed away, there was this old lady who served him when he was our City Mayor. Upon learning that my father was sent away to be cremated she was hysterical and was rolling on the floor wailing. My grieving mother had to comfort her. Later on we laughed about it but deep down I did not want myself to be that woman on the floor. I want to be strong for those who needed my strength. I cannot let those who are grieving comfort me.
For my family and friends, I will go out of my way to make sure you are comfortable. I am also blessed with a husband who is ever supportive and kind. He is my strength. We do things together well and we have a common aim to help out our loved ones. We can cook, babysit, clean - other jobs, that we can do.
I am also comfortable with sending my petitions to our Heavenly Father on your behalf if needs be. I have physical limitations but I am spiritually capable to do this, in addition to the many prayers already given by others. I know that prayers are heard and answered. All in the Lord's time.
I am praying for my friends and family who are facing so much at the moment. I know that in many ways our prayers are answered. Maybe not immediate healing but answers just the same:
A good night's sleep, the smile of a sleeping child, the sound of giggles and laughter of brothers, safe arrival of grandma and her comforting embrace to mom, and mom's comforting embrace to you.
Dad's administration of Priesthood blessings, his and your brothers hugs.
The hospital staff who are kind and able, from doctors, nurses down to the ones that changes the sheets and brings in food.
Other family members and network of friends who are praying for healing, comfort and peace. Whose every heartfelt whisper is heard.
For all these answers, we are grateful. We are blessed. We will get better together.
His angels will bear us up. Our burdens will be lighter. God is good, He will never ever leave us on our own. This is a promise.
We look heavenward for that unfailing sense of direction that we might chart and follow a wise and proper course. Our Heavenly Father will not leave our sincere petition unanswered.
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